when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
