this beer tastes like vomit already
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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