now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
