I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
honey bunches of taint.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.