I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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