She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize