I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
