OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I bet he comes in French.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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