just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
