Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize