what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
