i'm signing you up for texting rehab
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
