well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize