so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
