dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize