no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize