Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
