Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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