dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
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I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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