apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
