My girlfriend figured out who you are.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
