Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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