even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
