I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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