I just threw up on my dentist
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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