why didn't you poke me back
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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