The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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