i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
