Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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