do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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