The maid of honor just puked.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
