Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
