You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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