I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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