Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
