dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
