Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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