Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I lost the right to judge tonight
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
