ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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