We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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