Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
