i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
