i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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