The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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