I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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