am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
