He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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