Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
