the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
