it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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