2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize