You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
