I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't think brook has ever known best
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
