So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
