I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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