I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
