I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
