fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
