using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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