Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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