why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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