So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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