i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
