did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
