Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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