when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
