wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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