i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
