When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
