I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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